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Stay Close

by Libby Cataldi
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Product Details

  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publishing date: 28/04/2009
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-13: 9780312538781
  • ISBN: 0312538782

Synopsis

During his early teens, Jeff Bratton started using drugs. At first, alcohol and pot, but quickly he spiraled into using cocaine, ketamine, crystal meth and eventually heroin.

How could this wonderful son, loving brother, and star athlete lose himself to drugs? How could his parents be so clueless? How could his mother, the long-term head of a private school, be so blind? 

?Stagli vicino”, an Italian recovering addict told the author. ?Stay close?never leave him, even when he is most unlovable.” This is not a book about saving a child. It is a book about what it means to stay close to a loved one gripped by addiction. It is about one son who came home and one mother who never gave up hope.

Stay Close is one mother’s tough, honest, and intimate tale that chronicles her son’s severe drug addiction, as it corroded all relationships from the inside out. It is a story of deep trauma and deep despair, but also of deep hope?and healing.

Here is Libby Cataldi’s story about dealing with addiction without withdrawing love, learning to trust again while remaining attuned to lies, and the cautious triumph of staying clean one day at a time. 

He told her, ?Mom, never quit believing.” And she didn’t.

 

Libby Cataldi holds a doctorate in education and has been an educator all her life, most recently as head of Maryland's Calverton School. She has two sons, Jeff and Jeremy Bratton, and divides her time between Annapolis, Maryland, and Florence, Italy. 

During his early teens, Jeff Bratton started using drugs. At first, it was alcohol and pot, but he quickly spiraled into using cocaine, ketamine, crystal meth, and eventually heroin. How could this wonderful son, loving brother, and star athlete lose himself to drugs? How could his parents be so clueless? How could his mother, the long-term head of a private school, be so blind? 

?Stagli vicino,” an Italian recovering addict told the author. ?Stay close?never leave him, even when he is most unlovable.” This is not a book about saving a child. It is a book about what it means to stay close to a loved one gripped by addiction. It is about one son who came home and one mother who never gave up hope.

Stay Close is one mother’s tough, honest, and intimate tale that chronicles her son’s severe drug addiction and how it corroded all relationships from the inside out. It is a story of deep trauma and deep despair, but also of deep hope?and healing. This is Libby Cataldi’s story about dealing with addiction without withdrawing love, learning to trust again while remaining attuned to lies, and the cautious triumph of staying clean one day at a time. 

"This is a mother's exceptionally touching, beautifully written story of pain, and ultimately hope. Cataldi writes a deeply honest, moving chronicle of how the natural, normal love of a family can lock everyone into a negative spiral of horrific loss of control. This mom bares the truth, which is full of confusion and baffling paradox. In a superb afterword, Patrick MacAfee explains how addicted families work and what a  mysterious, counterintuitive process it is to find your way to the freedom of recovery. The memoir, followed by the voice of the professional, offers a powerful guide to those lost in the midst of their own family addiction."?Stephanie Brown, Ph.D., Director of The Addictions Institute
 
"As Virgil toured Dante through hell, so Libby Cataldi can hold your hand through a parent's ultimate nightmare. A gripping story of a bad time for a good person, and how she conquered it."?Tom Clancy

"Addiction poisons the whole family. It’s the secret we keep from one another and we keep from ourselves. It is only when, like Libby Cataldi, we are willing to share our stories and shine a light into those dark corners that we can begin to recover."?Martha Tod Dudman, author of Augusta, Gone

"Stay Close is the poignant and powerful story of one family’s struggle to contend with the ravages of addiction in a beloved son and brother. With enormous courage and honesty, Libby Cataldi lays bare the searing family pain as her son descends into a world they cannot fully understand; her fierce efforts to bring him back to health and sanity; and, ultimately, the redemptive power of love, compassion, and a mother’s willingness to stay close to her son even during the most harrowing of times."?Ron Goldblatt, Executive Director, Association of Independent Maryland Schools

"Mental health professionals and parents of addicts could benefit enormously from reading this heartrending story of a mother’s struggle with her son’s drug addiction. When Cataldi’s hitherto healthy, straight-A student teenage son consorts with bad company and begins using alcohol and marijuana, the author misses the telltale signs. Before too long, he adds cocaine, heroin, and meth. Too late, Cataldi struggles to understand what went wrong as she endeavors to rescue him. Her narration and her son’s, interspersed at key points, poignantly depict the story of addiction and recovery. While addiction memoirs proliferate, few wield the power of this one."?Library Journal

"For every drug addict there are at least four people affected, a depressing assertion by some experts that is clearly borne out in this soft-spoken, utterly honest account by educator Cataldi. The mother of two sons, Jeff and Jeremy, Cataldi became head of the Calverton School in Maryland in 1987, where the boys attended; she recounts chronologically how her oldest, Jeff, a bright, capable student, embarked from adolescence onward into an ever deepening and perilous spiral of drug abuse. From getting caught smoking at school in fifth grade, attending drug-sodden raves in high school, being arrested for possession of cocaine and ketamine, and selling drugs on campus, Jeff was continually rescued by his take-charge but admittedly naïve mother, now divorced from their father. Entering Boston University seemed to give Jeff a fresh start, yet he was soon enmeshed in the party scene; in debilitating health, he dropped out and bounced around among halfway houses and rehab centers. Jeff had become a master manipulator to get his fix, even when later jailed for heroin possession, and Cataldi learned to stop enabling her 'chameleon son' by joining Al-Anon. Taking an Italian expression to heart, stagli vicino, she learned to stay close and let Jeff find his way, and while her love proved steadfast, a safe outcome was never assured."?Publishers Weekly

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  • Wonderful, well written book
    From Amazon

    This was a beautifully well written story that will touch your heart. There is no manual for dealing with addiction. The book let's you know that addiciton puts an entire family through a roller coaster of emotions. The book comforts you to know that you are not alone when it comes to dealing with a loved one who suffers from drug addtiction. **Another book I recommend is "The Day I Told My Mom I Smoke Pot".

  • We are as sick as our secrets - Great Book on Addiction
    From Amazon

    I am the mother of an addict also. Libby Cataldi was the head of the school I worked in very briefly and our lives touched one another very briefly. It was not until this summer when I got the invitation to go to the book signing at the school where Libby was Head Mistress that I knew of her pain of having a son with an addiction. I wrote Libby a e mail and shared with her my candid recall of my son's addiction from age 12 thru 17. My solace was in the Alanon/Naranon program - it was there for 11 years I found my home with other parents of addicted children. Libby and I have shared much over this summer of our experience with addiction. My son is now 36, married with children and owns his business. I no longer worry about his addiction nor worry if he will relapse, he knows where to go to get help if this happens. Once a long time ago, I thought of writing my own book of my experience with addiction, but it became too painful to live through the pain, hurt and craziness again, so I never did write about it. Libby's documentation of all she went through cut into me, so much so I had to put the book down several times because I could not stop crying. The sleepless nights, the thought that your son is out there and can die - there is no controlling it, no curing it - they must want it for themselves. Libby has done a wonderful job of detailing the emotions and roller coaster ride we go through with an addict. She and Jeff have enormous courage to tell their story and reveal their anonymity that we all have in the "rooms". Personally, I have no problem telling anyone I am the mother of an addict. The "rooms" teach us that in order to keep what we have, we must give it away....Thank you Libby and Jeff! Claire

  • Excellent
    From Amazon

    Any parent, whether faced with this situation or not, should read this book. It provides such a true demonstration of feelings that I felt as though I was reading an autobiography of my life. I give Jeff a lot of credit for allowing his mother to share his story from her viewpoint and I appreciated his sharing of his true life activities. This took a lot of strength. I only hope that my son finds the courage that Jeff has found on his journey. I have asked my son to read the book so that he can to some extent experience his addiction through a parents eyes and he has agreed to do so. "Stay close" - how true.

  • Stay Close
    From Amazon

    This is one of the best books I have read on "addiction". It is very educational and could really relate to her situation. I also bought one for a friend and she felt the same way.

  • excellent,outstanding and informative book
    From Amazon

    This is one of the most informative books I have ever read. If you know anyone with a drug related problem, this is the book I would recommed reading. The fact that Iwas able to relate to this problem, was very sad but also eye-opening. Best book I have ever read.

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